Post-depression… then what?

Depression is very treatable in most cases.  I know this.  Heck, I was a psychiatry secretary for three years.

Meds help, regardless of who says otherwise.  I would not be writing this without them.  I would be pretty much completely non-functional still.  Therapy helps, I have a wonderful therapist that I’m very grateful for, and a family doctor who wants full updates every time I see him and is always encouraging.  Family support helps, beyond words.

But what happens when you’re no longer “depressed,” per se?  When you no longer fit the criteria for diagnosis, and can be considered to have recovered?  What if, at that point, you still don’t feel like you have a grip on your life again?

What if you look around, and see a year’s backlog of housework, not done because you just didn’t care and didn’t have the energy and because your beloved partner physically can’t do it and there just isn’t anyone else?  What if you find yourself feeling so lonely that you want friendly and supportive company more than anything else, except maybe a few good laughs, and you end up spending just-a-little-longer online to fill that need, instead of doing things you should be doing?  What if, even though you’re “all better,” you still feel lost and scared of life, because you’re terrified of making the wrong choice and crashing again?  What if your self-esteem is trashed by not working, by a nagging feeling that you’ve somehow failed, by a weight increase due to too much junk food and no exercise, by a lack of enough energy to do anything about the weight?

*sigh*  I don’t know.  Probably I’m just whining.  Or something.  After all, Sean’s having another bad pain day, and it’s fall and it’s been gray and rainy for a week or so now, which is really not helping my mood — I like fall, but only when it’s the clear crisp weather, and this steady wet stuff is just dismal.  Maybe it’s just low blood sugar or something, I wonder what I can find to make for supper… something that doesn’t require too much energy or concentration….

3 Comments

  1. ohai. Been there, first depression, then panic disorder, now chronic fatigue. With the panic disorder, meds saved my life. I don’t know what I would have done, but I couldn’t go on the way I was. Know what you mean – just can’t get a grip on everything, can’t catch a break and get everything put right again. http://www.flylady.net has a great system for starting out from square one, and it’s very adaptable. It’s free, and a lot of her subscribers are people with chronic health issues and those kinds of challenges. I’ve customized her system for myself to where it doesn’t bear a lot of resemblance to what’s on the site, but the underlying principles are the same and at least you can get the basics done and work your way forward a little bit at a time.

  2. Prysm you have just described my situation to a T. Although your words are far more eloquent than I could manage.
    One day and one step at a time.
    Px

  3. Be patient with yourself, dear Prysmcat. One step at a time, as Pauline said. One piece of housework, then one piece of online. Reward yourself even for bebbeh kitteh steps. Ur doing it right. There is no other way. You are not whining, you are in a difficult transition and you feel vulnerable and worried, which is very understandable. Maybe it helps to know that there is many of us and you can turn to them for comfort and support. If I lived near you, I’d come over to your house. Just getting started on ONE drawer or shelf helps, believe me. I wish I could be near you and help, but I can only send virtual love and hugs. *smooch*

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