I find crowds and situations that are formal or unfamiliar extremely stressful. I’m much happier with a limited circle of people I’m close to, rather than lots of people I just hang out with. I’d rather stay home with a good movie and good company than go out partying, or walk to a park by the lake and have a picnic than go to a fancy restaurant.
Of course, my serious bad reaction to even trace amounts of dairy products has something to do with the restaurant thing. It’s much worse than lactose intolerance, but not an actual anaphylactic reaction, and so far my family doctor doesn’t have an explanation. I have ample empirical evidence that dairy triggers not only nausea and GI problems,but agonizing headaches and uncontrollable mood changes, specifically anger and depression. I tend not to eat food that hasn’t been prepared by someone I know and trust, and frankly, most restaurants don’t have enough of a clue about food allergies for me to trust them.
I’ve spent over half my life in an up and down battle with depression and anxiety. The battle isn’t over and never will be. The anxiety can make it hard or impossible to answer the phone, check email, open the door, deal with a cashier in a store; the depression tends instead to leave me feeling lethargic and unmotivated.
I’m pansexual, which I’ve known since I was 19. I used to say “bisexual” but have come to the conclusion that it’s too binary to really be relevant. Pansexuality, for me, basically means that I’m more strongly attracted to personality and behavioural traits that are traditionally, at least in this part of the world, found more in women than in men, and the plumbing involved doesn’t matter to me any more than hair colour or height.
Along with my belief in personal freedom mentioned above, I’m also a big believer in everyone being able to have their own sexual and gender identity without being trashed for it – as long as everyone involved is old enough to give consent, knows what’s going on, and is willing. Diversity and creativity are amazing things that enrich the world enormously.
This reflects very heavily in my writing, which is definitely not filled exclusively with heterosexual monogamous non-transgendered vanilla couples.
And for anyone reading this who thinks “bi and kinky” is the same thing as “has sex with anything that moves”: I’m not interested in your wife or girlfriend, with or without you present, I do not do cybersex, and I’m not looking, so don’t waste my time asking.
As for other stuff… Favourite colour is true deep amethyst purple, or possibly black (although in general I adore strong jewel-tones of just about any colour)… favourite scent is vanilla… favourite tree is willow… favourite flower is wild purple lilacs… for anything else you want to know, you’ll just have to ask.